Thursday, July 25, 2019

At Sea, Kamchatka

At Sea, Along Kamchatka Peninsula 
July 22, 23, 2019

I’m still trying to get photos into these posts. I didn’t bring the card reader so anything in my camera will be there until we get home. I tried moving a picture from phone to iCloud and then to this. So far the only one that worked was of Jim when we first arrived in our stateroom in Seattle. Then I took a picture with the very iPad that I’m now using. That transferred very nicely to a document, but then not to blog post. I may start drawing pictures on the screen with crayons. So, if there is a big, blank area in this, imagine a line of snow-capped mountains on the horizon of a deep, blue sea.

After a day or so of rough weather, suddenly we sailed into the sun, the sea flattened and we were 3 on the Beaufort Scale instead of 8 or 9. (Google it.)  The entire state of Alaska is in the same time zone, so as soon as we left Nome we started turning our clocks back one hour every night so we would be at the correct time when we docked in Petropavlovsk. We crossed the International Dateline early on, but we didn’t make that adjustment until Tuesday night. There’s always some numnutz who wants to set his clock forward 20 hours but one hour back, one calendar day gone and voilà you’re right time, right day. These are the monumental things that occupy our time at sea.

Jim keeps asking what there is to write about sea days. Well, there’s Boris and Natasha (names I’ve given them because they speak Russian), ping pong maniacs. She’s blond, tall, very tan  and model-thin, he’s 50-ish, very buff and tan. Every day she’s in very short shorts (suddenly all the old patoots on board find reasons to walk back and forth past the ping pong tables on the Lido Deck), barefoot and being coached by Boris as they slam the ball in endless rallies. I guess I could ask them their story but it’s much more fun to make one up.

The Cellar Master had a 30 bottle wine tasting one afternoon at 2 o’clock. Knitter Linda’s husband partook. As she put it, “He got his money’s worth” and was quite useless at trivia at 4 o’clock.

We sat next to a couple from Princeton at lunch. They were scheduled to take a birding trip in Nome and were, in fact, on the tender that made it to the dock in Nome but then was returned. Ah, ha. Birders! I now “have a guy” to help identify the birds that fly along with us for hours. A type of petral (sp?) escorted us from Nome. 

Got a question about something and no Google? Someone on this ship has the answer.

HAL sent emails a month or so ago asking us to bring something orange to wear to the Orange Party. For those who forgot, orange T-shirts, hats and scarves were available in the ship’s store. Then we found out that the Orange Party is at 10 pm after the pub crawl at 9. In Old People hours (same idea as  Dog Years compared to people years) that’s waaaaay past bedtime. I think my orange shirt still has the tags on it so back to Macy’s or failing that, into a quilt.

Sailing along the Kamchatka peninsula is other-worldy. The sun is out, the sky is blue and on the horizon you can just make out a snow-covered volcano. Many, many snow-covered volcanoes. This is part of the Ring of Fire that formed the land around the entire Pacific, north and south. We learned in one presentation that 30 or so of the 1,000 volcanoes of Kamchatka are active. At “Ask the Captain” (once during the cruise the captain gives a short talk about the workings of the ship and then answers questions posed by the passengers) one guy wanted to know if we could go close to one of the active volcanoes. “No.” 

As I write this we are dockside in Petropavlovsk. Lots of paperwork and procedure to clear the ship and passengers. We docked at 6 am but won’t get off until 10:30. We had to fill out some forms and then hand them in to Guest Services with our passports. When we’re ready to get off, we will get our passports (already checked by Russian officials who came on board) back to show to yet another official at the bottom of the gangway. Saw three of the young Russian dudes this morning about 7:30 desperately looking for a place to smoke. One of the HAL officers led them to the tiny little smoking area on a deck off the restaurant on the 11th floor, the only place to smoke on the entire ship.

It’s a lovely day. We’re in a commercial port with lots of small freighters and attendant activity. Biggest surprise so far is the stream of pleasure craft (sailboats, power boats) heading out of the harbor early this morning. We haven’t seen many if any since we left Seattle. Our Alaskan stops were commercial fishing ports for work not play.


I’m sure I’ll have tales to tell when we get back from our three hour tour.

Sunday, July 21, 2019

There’s no place like Nome.

There’s no place like Nome.

July 20-21, 2019
Through the Bering Sea to Nome, Alaska

It’s 600+ nautical miles between Dutch Harbor and Nome, so we’re cruising at a constant 18 knots to get there by 8 am on the 21st.

Lots of shipboard activities to keep the troops occupied. Movies, lectures and cooking demonstrations or for the kids, basketball and pickleball up on the sports deck. Plus the usual bridge, casino, trivia and food, wine and cocktail tasting. It seems like a smooth ride, but there is enough movement to get the pool water cresting like a wave pool so the surface net is on to try to contain the splashing which means no pool time today. It’s been very popular with the teens. The boys are trying to impress the girls and they, of course, are ignoring and flirting at the same time as only teenage girls can. 

As an “Exc in-Depth voyage” there are seven experts on board who give talks on everything from Japanese cooking to Alaska native culture to geosciences and oceanography. They all have credentials out the ying yang and have the ability to make everything seem fascinating. The Showroom is SRO for most of the presentations. Jim couldn’t tear himself away from his book, but having heard good things about Gloeta, a biologist and science communicator, I went to hear about “The Amazing Nature of the Tundra.” That sounds tedious, but she was quite animated and funny especially when she chose two octogenarians in the audience, John and Mark, to demonstrate the differences in rutting between bull moose, caribou and musk ox. Trust me, you had to be there. 

Jim and I both went to watch the guest chef, Naomi Kakiuchi, demonstrate marinated salmon and Somen, a type of Japanese noodles. Naomi said Somen in on the menu at McDonalds in Japan. It’s always fun to pop into a Mickey-D’s in a foreign country just to see what native dishes are available along with the Quarter Pounders. Remember John, our driver in Sitka? He said everything on the Dollar Menu there costs $1.50. Chef Naomi is preparing a special dinner next week in the Pinnacle Grill. Just one sitting at 6 pm, so we’re assuming the timing and service will be on point. 

Believe it or not, showering and changing into “Smart Casual” for dinner in the dining room every night gets old so tonight we schlepped up to the Lido Buffet for dinner in our daytime clothes. So many selections. Jim has discovered that the salad guy will top his Caesar salad with a pile of anchovies so he was a happy camper. I had beef bourguignon with chocolate panacotta and strawberry pavlova for dessert. Don’t judge. Small portions of each. Each stateroom has a DVD player and the ship has over 1,000 movies available from classics to current, action, drama, comedy and family titles. We passed on the Showroom and watched Network instead. I don’t think I’ve seen it since it’s release in 1976. I know I couldn’t imagine how prescient it was.

Sunday, July 21
8:30 am

It’s grey and foggy and we haven’t anchored yet. The tenders have been launched and are milling about. The fog suddenly lifts and there is the breakwater and channel that leads to Nome. We still haven’t anchored yet. This is not a good sign.

About 9 o’clock the captain announces that the swells are coming straight into shore and that he is trying to maneuver the Maasdam so it won’t be so bumpy transferring passengers to tenders. Keep in mind that to board a tender, you walk down a metal stairway on the outside of the ship’s hull to a small platform and from there onto the tender. In calm waters this is a piece of cake; with a rolling swell, not so much. As we were having breakfast we could look down and watch the operation. Uh oh. The process is going very slowly. The passenger waits on the little platform until the ship and the tender are even and then crew members on the platform hand the passenger over to crew members on the tender. It does get the pulse rate up. We’ve done this before and survived so decided to wait until the inevitable line gets shorter, This is our last port for US$, there are two fabric stores and don’t forget the Blueberry Festival. 

The tenders load just below our stateroom so we went back to watch and wait. Uh oh. One tender of crew to set up the dockside station has left and one tender of passengers but now the other boats are just circling around. 

And then the captain comes onto to the loudspeakers again to break the news that the weather is getting worse, tender operations have been canceled and passengers and crew on shore will be coming back to the ship immediately. Needless to say, this is not a decision they make lightly. The passengers are disappointed and the town is going to take an economic hit. Our son and daughter-in-law went to a Blueberry Festival in New Jersey only to discover that they had run out of blueberries. I texted Claire our sad news and she replied, “Fishers are now 0 for 2 on blueberry festivals this year.” 

Now the passengers and crew are back on board and the tenders have been pulled up. The entertainers that are arriving in Nome midday to join the ship will be brought out on the Pilot boat. Now THAT’S going to be a maneuver to watch. Those boats come alongside the ship as it’s moving and the pilot jumps from the deck of his moving boat to the ladder on the side of the Maasdam. So we’re waiting for this and then we’ll head towards our next stop, Petropavlovsk, Russia. It’s at least two sea days plus we cross the International Date Line so it could be three days.


To quote Tina Fey as Sarah Palen on SNL, “I can see Russia from my porch!”

Your first time in Dutch?

Your first time in Dutch?

Dutch Harbor, Unalaska, Alaska
July 19,2019

“Your first time in Dutch?” That was the question the nice young man in the clothing department at Alaska Ship Supply asked me. Oh, you betcha. 

Dutch Harbor is the port of the city of Unalaska, Alaska. It used to be the home port of the Deadliest Catch boats, but they dock in Kodiak now, which would explain the towering stacks of enormous crab traps on the pier there. Dutch was the site of a WWII battle, with museum and various concrete bunkers available to tour.

19 ships will call into Dutch this summer, most with 200-500 passengers, It’s about midway out in the Aleutian chain, not exactly on the way to anywhere.

Once again the town provided school buses to shuttle us to the WWII museum and the Safeway. One could walk the 2.3 miles into town or take a cab there or one could walk across the parking lot of the Safeway, past the Grand Aleutian Hotel to Alaska Ship Supply: Groceries-Hardware-Clothing-Liquor. What a place! You name it, they’ve got it! Talenti Gelato? Yessir. Foul weather gear? Un-huh. From toiletries to refrigerators, you want it, they’ve got it. It was the modern version of the small-town general store. Jim found a Dutch Harbor T-shirt while I continued to price check Nexium. On Amazon, under $20; in Ketchikan, $37 and change; in Dutch Harbor, $57! Holy moly. However, the Talenti was $6.21 and the Horizon organic milk, $5.79, neither of which I thought outrageous considering where we are. Just as we were saying it seemed to be an Alaskan Costco we came upon a pallet of Kirkland water! And they had the Kirkland Decaf K cups that the Kennesaw Costco no longer carries. I was tempted but at $103 for the box, I passed.

HUGE Safeway. I scored a Tide stain stick (Remember the Yakima cherries from Ketchikan? Of course the very last one squirted on my new blouse.)

Another good weather day, in the high 50s, low 60s. The lovely young woman who gave us a brief overview of the area as we rode the bus pointed to a bay where whales gather and then said, “But they prefer cloudy days.” Didn’t see the sea otters who supposedly live in the water behind the hotel. Eagles are everywhere, the mottled juveniles and mature birds with the white heads. 

My marine life losing streak was broken that night as we were having our pre-dinner cocktail. Out the window I spotted a pod of Dall’s porpoises racing through the water. Found only in the North Pacific they don’t gracefully move up and down like other porpoises, rather they barely break the surface with their noses, almost like a swimmer doing a fast breast stroke across a pool. 

Dinner with Phil and Genevieve from Canberra, Australia. She spent her career working for the UN refugee department in some very scary spots around the globe. We told her we thought she had been a spy. We’re not totally convinced that she wasn’t! One of those days when everyone else’s life seems a lot more glamorous than your own.

The showroom entertainment was Mark Hussey, a guitarist who played everything from Pacobel to Clapton. He told us he got a PhD from Oxford, worked as a virologist for four years and then quit to become a professional musician. He was an excellent guitarist.


Now we’re on to Nome, the farthest north we’ll be on this trip. We have to tender in, but besides touring and shopping, the fine citizens of Nome are putting on a Blueberry Festival just for us so we’re all anticipating a fun day. Plus the weather, while grey, is still a relatively balmy 54. More than once on this trip we’ve seen and heard about the changing climate. The life cycle of the animals is attuned to the availability of different food sources. The berries ripen after the salmon spawn, providing food after the fish are gone. Now the berries are ripening earlier while the salmon are still running. It was 80 degrees in Nome last week. We saw pictures of the local kids swimming in the Bering Sea! 

Friday, July 19, 2019

A Gangway and Truffles

At Sea, Between Kodiak and Dutch Harbor
July 18, 2019

Today we listened to the geologist on board talk about “Faulty Alaska,” Alaskan earthquakes specifically one in 1958 in the lower part of the state and the more famous ‘64 quake near Anchorage. That one lasted more than four minutes, an eternity if you’re experiencing it. The most damage was done by the resulting tsunami. Traveling at 500 miles per hour it reached New Zealand in fifteen hours. Tsunami alerts were given all along the west coast of the US, Hawaii and other Pacific Islands all the way into the Southern Hemisphere. I vaguely remember a tsunami warning in Newport but I’m not sure if it was from that earthquake. I do remember that we all ran out on the beach to watch for it. A tad bit unclear on the concept.

Because of the damage and loss of life in Kodiak they have a Tsunami Alert Test every Wednesday at 2 pm. On the nice Discover Kodiak map given to us at the Visitors Center there are red arrows in circles here and there with the note “Move above red arrow to safe zones. Higher ground = 100 feet/30 meters above sea level.” Wouldn’t have to tell me twice.

A quiet day at sea. The ocean is a bit choppier but still a smooth ride. After last night’s dinner (wonderful food topped off by those promised profiteroles and a plate of truffles in our room) I had grand plans to get up and walk the deck. I checked the ship’s weather on the TV first thing and the wind was 36 knots. Change of plans. Instead, breakfast, chat and knit with the growing group of knitters/quilters, “Faulty Alaska,” rip out what I had knitted before then lunch and a movie. Some minion somewhere found every movie available with Alaska in the title for the daily matinees. Today it was “Mystery, Alaska” about a tiny town in Alaska that was mad about ice hockey. A very young and fit Russell Crowe among others, for some reason playing the part of the local sheriff with a Canadian accent. Of course, the movie about Alaska was filmed in Alberta so maybe he was a bit confused. It was charming, funny and heart-warming plus there was popcorn.

The service at dinner last night was out of whack. Something was obviously going on in the kitchen because it took forever for food to appear. It was 1-1/2 hours before our main courses arrived. People were getting a bit testy. Jim told the maître d’ that he wasn’t happy. Much bowing and scraping. This afternoon a note of apology from him arrived accompanied by more truffles. Beginning to look a bit like a See’s candy store in cabin 117.

It’s now 11 pm and the sun is still up. I’m watching out the balcony door for whales. So far I remain 0 for everything as far as sea mammal sightings go. I did see an eagle yesterday before we left Kodiak. I was on the balcony watching the pier side activity when I spotted an eagle swooping and circling above the trees on the hill across the street. It’s comforting to think that nearly the entire Aleutian chain is a wildlife refuge so all the creatures are protected. Last night an orchestra of the various musicians on the ship played live music set against footage about the seasons of Alaska from the BBC Earth series. An unexpected treat.

Yesterday afternoon the captain made the announcement that the US Coast Guard would be using our berth in Dutch Harbor which means we will anchor and be tendered in to shore. I have no idea how much of a protected harbor Dutch Harbor is so who knows if the tendering process will be a ho-hum operation or one of those wild and wooly experiences. I do know that there aren’t any ship’s excursions in DH, so the incentive to go ashore dwindles if you have to queue up for a ride. Not many cruise ships stop in DH so I’m fairly certain the merchants there won’t be too pleased to miss the trade. Then we received a letter from the captain telling us that there would be coffee and pastries in the Wajang Theater for the four and five star Mariners (frequent fliers) to munch on while waiting to jump the line of the rest of the passengers. I’m more than happy to take advantage of free laundry offered to four and five stars but be the first to go ashore? I don’t think so.

But then THIS afternoon, a much happier captain made the announcement that after much discussion with the Harbor Master of DH and the Coast Guard it was decided that the Maasdam would indeed get a berth at the dock. Oh, happy day! It doesn’t take a whole bunch to please the passengers, just a gangway and endless chocolate truffles.

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Kodiak

Kodiak
July 17, 2019

Happy birthday, Jim!

Sunshine and blue skies for our day in Kodiak, home of the largest Coast Guard base in the country and an equally large fishing fleet, emphasis on crabs. We’re docked in the commercial area of the port, just a mile from the city. Kodiak has mustered all their school buses to ferry us either into town or to the Walmart. This is the last place the crew can buy supplies and snacks at a reasonable price so they are itching to get off and go shop.

We opted to go into town. Not many cruise ships stop here so we have the place to ourselves. The wildlife center is just steps from the visitors center with wonderful displays about bears and salmon and other critters. Kodiak is an island and wildlife refuge. It is home to about 3,000 Kodiak bears, a type of brown bear. Brown bears on the mainland are grizzlies. The Kodiaks are the big ones. The island is rich with fish, berries and plants that provide a diet for all the wildlife. The bear population is controlled by a closely monitored hunting season that allows only a certain number of permits, males only, no females or cubs.

Our other stop was at the beautiful new Alquiit Museum about the indigenous people of Kodiak Island, inventors of the precursor to the kayak. Then and now they rely on fishing and hunting for their subsistent lifestyle. There was an exhibit about medicinal plants and herbs the healers still use with a stern warning that the medicinal value of the plants has not been proven and many poisonous plants look like the safe ones. I guess we’ll stick with Tylenol and Neosporin.

This little place has a quilt shop and a yarn shop, both well stocked, especially the yarn shop. I bought a little sumpin sumpin at each to remind me of our time here. Everyone is so polite and congenial. Cars stop at each intersection if a pedestrian is remotely close to the crosswalk. There’s a big True Value (Marine, Commercial, Home) and a few casual restaurants but the major presence is the fish cannery built inside a huge fishing vessel run aground 50 years ago in the tsunami that followed the big Anchorage earthquake. The storm wiped out the existing cannery, so they converted the boat instead of building a new one.

A small Russian Orthodox cathedral is a reminder of the past when Alaska was home to Russians in the fur trade.

I’m writing this about 3:30 pm as I look out the window watching the town and Walmart shuttles coming and going. From the bags crew and passengers alike are dragging off the Walmart bus there couldn’t be much left on the shelves.


A nice, relaxing day in beautiful weather (it stopped raining just as we arrived in port). Tonight we’re spiffing up again for a special dinner at the Pinnacle Grill. They’re converting it to a pop up restaurant featuring the cuisine of the head chef of the cruise line. Guest services called this morning to ask Jim what kind of birthday cake he wanted and he said he didn’t want one! Could’ve smacked him.

This and That and Gala

This and That and Gala
Sea Day, July 16, 2019

Sea day. Time to ponder the really important things in life. For instance, have we been on the Maasdam before? Except for the new, bigger ships, all HAL’s have the same basic layout. Dining rooms aft, showroom forward, shops, casino, lounges in the middle. The ride has been so smooth that you can hardly tell that you’re moving so I find myself looking out a window to figure out which way we’re headed then I still have a 50-50 chance of going the wrong direction.

Whether we’ve been on it or not, the Maasdam has been freshened up from carpets and drapes to dining room china. Lots of blues and whites and, of course, orange for The Netherlands. It seems all the various cruise lines are cutting little corners here and there (a common conversation topic). HAL has turned their wonderful libraries into Explorer Lounges; still books on the shelves, the chess/checkers tables and jigsaw puzzles but no more librarians and book clubs. On the plus side, they still have florists on board that create massive, avant garde floral displays for all the public areas. And the room stewards still leave a towel animal and chocolates on your pillow every night. Critter tally so far: squid, mouse, caterpillar, cobra and seal.

One of the redesigned areas is the Crow’s Nest, the bar forward, at the top of the ship with a spectacular view of what lies ahead. All around the room, Eames-like lounge chairs are side by side to take advantage of the view, but not to encourage conversation. Our favorite pre-dinner cocktail spot is now the favorite roost for readers, like the quiet car on a commuter train. Luckily for us, the Ocean Bar on 8 has comfy chairs, big windows and bourbon.

Formal nights are now Gala nights. Coats and ties for gentlemen and dressy attire for the ladies are requested in the dining room, a step down from the days of black tie and evening gowns. I was pleasantly surprised to see that everyone made an effort to dress nicely and break out the good jewelry. We sat with the Edinburgh couple we’d met earlier and another from Australia. Lots of fun even if we understood only every other word!

Before we left we received an email from HAL saying that since there weren’t many children on the cruise they would not be doing children’s activities and rather than entertainment in the showroom each night there would be “cultural enrichment” programs. No children’s activities, but the most children, from toddlers to teens, that we’ve ever had on a cruise and so far there’s been entertainment in the showroom each night. The cultural enrichment programs are scheduled during our dinner time so we continue on un-enriched.

Smooth sailing across the Gulf of Alaska.

Monday, July 15, 2019

Bears and Raptors, oh, my

Sitka
July 15,, 2019

Four years ago, moments after we arrived in Sitka,  I stepped on a rock, fell and broke my leg. I did manage to drag myself to the Fortress of the Bear but that was it. I spent that port day in the medical center on board.

This time I’m scanning the ground for any possible menaces to my navigation. Instead of anchoring off the city, we’re at a dock in a deep water harbor about five miles north. The city has provided a fleet of shuttle buses to ferry us back and forth to downtown, metro Sitka. Sitka is on an island, the fourth largest city in Alaska with 9,000 people. It is connected to the world by boat or air. It has 14 miles of paved roads that wind through the endless forests. The people share this lovely spot with brown bears, bald eagles and salmon.

For ten bucks we took another local shuttle driven by John (30 ish, born and raised in Sitka) first to the Fortress of the Bear, then to the Alaska Raptor Center, both a few miles out of town. The Fortress is a non-profit sanctuary for orphaned brown bears, Two enormous round water filtrating tanks have been converted to habitats, complete with lakes, hills, trees and numerous “toys” to keep the bears busy and not depressed. It is illegal to return bears to the wild, so these guys are permanent residents. 

The compound was closed over the winter for a big building project. It’s not yet finished but will provide better facilities for the staff and visitors. The bears are observed from walkways next to the top of the enclosures (at least 25-30 feet above the bears). Several of the staff are on hand to answer questions, toss the odd treat to the bears (pear, mango, branches of salmon berry bushes) while constantly observing and noting their behavior. The bears do not have a regular feeding schedule (nasty smelling salmon heads and parts from a nearby cannery) to prevent domestication. The lakes in the enclosures are stocked with live salmon from time to time so they can hunt dinner. Treats are tucked here and there so they maintain their foraging skills. Because they will never go back in the wild, there is human interaction. Sadly, Big Balloo, the full-grown Kodiak bear that was quite the entertainer, died a couple of years ago from the same type of degenerate spinal problems than can afflict large breed dogs. One of the staff told me they were all devastated with his passing. She said the only comforting thought was that had he remained in the wild he probably would have been shot years ago.

At the Alaska Raptor Center, the central mission is to rehabilitate injured birds and return them to the wild. These creatures have no human contact. We could observe a dozen birds through one way glass that were in the enormous flight training area. The roof and side are slatted so natural weather (sun, rain, wind, snow) can come in. They eat their natural diet of small critters, but dead not alive. They aren’t well enough to hunt live prey. One handler told us that eagles are not “prideful eaters.” They’ll go after road kill as well as dive down for fish or small mammals. Many of them are hit by cars while they’re picking at road kill. When a bird is judged healthy enough to survive outside, it is released. They’ve been doing this for 30+ years so hundreds of raptors have been saved. The birds that are too injured become residents at the center and teaching tools for the public. It’s located in a lush forest. We were all mesmerized.

I told driver John that some salmon berry branches were tossed into the bear enclosures and two of them came lumbering over, grabbed the branches and headed for the lake where they floated on their backs like otters, chewing on the berries and leaves. John told me that ripe salmon berries are quite tasty out of hand or in jams and jellies. His aunt makes wine from them that she breaks out on New Year’s Day. The berries growing wild right be the ARC parking lot weren’t ripe enough to eat. John said they are very sour. I took him at his word.

Lunch in town—grilled halibut sandwich for me, reindeer (not the ones who work on Christmas Eve) Reuben for Jim. We poked around the shops a bit. Sitka is much less touristy than Ketchikan although zoning is a bit lax. There would be a lovely, large home and next door, something very ramshackle and mossy.

Met my first snippy Aussie today. I thought they were all fun and friendly until I talked to this one on the shuttle. When she found out we were from Atlanta (much easier to identity than Kennesaw) she said they were going to visit friends there next year. 
Susan: When will you be there?
Snippy: April.
Susan: A good choice, certainly better than July or August which are very hot and humid.
Snippy, dismissively and huffily: We live in the tropics so it wouldn’t bother us in the slightest.

So, I want you all to mark on your calendars for next April in Atlanta:  pray for heat and a deluge of rain that batters the flowers from the azaleas. And the usual huge lines of people going through Immigration at the Atlanta airport. And maybe locusts. Miss Snippy needs a karmic bitch slap.